


Still on my feet somehow

by ArbuscularMycorrhizal



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: C2E50, Episode Tag, Exhaustion, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Magical Injury, c2e51, just everyone taking care of Caleb because he ain't taking care of himself
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-18
Updated: 2019-02-18
Packaged: 2019-10-31 05:08:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17843060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArbuscularMycorrhizal/pseuds/ArbuscularMycorrhizal
Summary: Caleb spends one too many spell slots and tries to deal with the very not good consequences on his own. It doesn't go well.Tag to episodes 50-51Because Liam accidently used an extra level 4 spell and I wanted emotional consequences not in game rule consequences.





	Still on my feet somehow

As he released the spell, Caleb could feel something deep in his chest begin tear, just a little bit, as he pulled on more magic than his body had. But it didn’t matter. He could smell burning flesh as Beauregard rushed past with Nott bundled in her arms. He didn’t look. He kept his eyes fixed on the fire giant stepping through the lava and the octopus pulling itself towards the party and readied another spell. Black spots were crawling strangely into the corners of his vision and he couldn’t blink them away. His lungs felt empty.  Beauregard had Nott though. Everyone had made it across. A hand grabbed the back of his coat and he was dragged into the tunnel. Caduceus’ magic whooshed past them and the entrance sealed shut with a wall of rock. He let go of the spell before he even starts to cast it. All of them stand stock still and try to remember how to breathe for a just a moment after the blinding panic of the cavern crossing. There is the sound of massive footsteps on the other side of the rock.

“Run.” Beauregard, still holding Nott to her chest, can barely get the word out before a great shuddering  _ thump _ sounds through hastily made rock wall. No one argues, they just run. The sound of their pounding feet not loud enough to drown out the crumbling of rock behind them. 

Unchanging dirt and rock rushes past as Caleb tries to keep up. The spots creep and drift further into his vision but he ignores them. Focusing instead on forcing his legs to keep moving and desperately drawing breath into lungs that feel miles away. His hands are shaking but they are always shaking. It’s fine. He keeps running. 

Fjord and Yasha are behind him. Their footsteps and their breathing steady. Jester and Caduceus ahead run either side of Beauregard. Keeping pace with the monk in a more haphazard and urgent way. Flashes of divine light fill the tunnel as the two clerics desperately try to heal the burns covering all of Nott and running up Beau’s arms. The smell of burning hair and clothes and flesh fills the tunnel and Caleb blames his shaking on that and isn’t entirely wrong. 

They keep running for almost an hour. Until the sounds of giants had faded and the deep heat had become less unbearable. Caleb knows it’s still warm. The other’s are sweating heavily, he can feel the damp under his coat and on his brow. But there is a deep leaching cold settling on his bones that he doesn’t want to think about. He squints against the blackening tunnel and forgets to keep track of his feet. One boot catches on a rock and the whole world shifts out of perpendicularly with gravity. He doesn’t realise he’s falling until it’s too late to catch himself. 

A strong hand grabs him under his armpit, Yasha, and another on the other side, Fjord. 

“Whoa, hey. You alright there Caleb?”

Fine. He was fine. 

He can’t get the words out of his mouth so he just nods and wheezes. He’s fine. He doesn’t have control over his breathing. He’s slowed everyone down to a stop. They need to keep moving.

“Why don’t we take a quick rest?” Fjord’s question sounds from just over Caleb’s shoulder. He can’t find the words to disagree. They have to keep moving. His knees buckle without his consent. Yasha and Fjord stumble slightly as they take his full weight.

“Yeah,” That was Beauregard’s voice. She had been further ahead. “That sounds good.”

They half carry him half drag him and he finds himself propped up against the wall of the tunnel. A blur of tan and blue settles next to him still holding an armful of green.

Nott falling backwards into the lava. Being rushed past him on fire. 

“Your burns-” even if his tongue was working properly his mind was blank. He grasped at how he could possibly help her and comes up with nothing. “We need to-”

Need to do what? He couldn’t quite see right. His breath was returning to him but what little he could see was crawling around his vision in an unnatural way. He patted down Nott. Feeling for burns, feeling for damage. His hands are fluttering over her in a way he can’t quite control. All of him is shaking just a little bit now. It is very very cold this far underground. 

Small clawed hands close over on of his own. 

“It’s alright, Caleb. It’s fine. Jester and Caduceus fixed me and Beau up no problem. We’re all okay.”

“J-ja. Okay.”

He can at least focus on Nott’s voice. And her hands on his. The other’s talk in too low voices but Caleb is content to sit next to Nott and Beau and wait for the world to stop spinning so violently. A water skin is thrust into his hands. It takes him too many tries to get the cork off. His fingers feel brittle. The water tastes like iron but that might just be in his mouth. It doesn’t help with the dryness deep behind his throat. He takes another sip and tries to focus on the tunnel wall.

But next thing he knows the water skin is gone and Beau is helping pull him to his feet. Caleb still feels uniquely terrible but the rest had done him some good. He can feel a tremble up and down his legs but his knees hold. The creeping darkness as cleared up a little and he can see Beauregard in front of him with Nott piggybacking, peering over the monks shoulder.

“You alright man?” Both of them look at him with concern. Like they both weren’t just on fire themselves. They shouldn’t look at him like that. 

“I am fine. That was just…” he trailed off but it seemed to be enough for the girls. They nodded with understanding. Beau had one had behind her back to keep Nott from sliding off, she placed the other on Caleb’s shoulder. Gently steering him up the tunnel with the rest of the group. 

“Come on, we’ve got a couple more hours before bed. Let’s get walking.”

Caleb doesn’t have the energy to anything but follow her directions. So he follows. Step after step. Ignoring the shakes and the building pain at the base of his skull. Ignoring the creeping darkness. One step after another. He’s not sure if time had stopped or if it has been slipping through his fingers. Minutes stretch on but he blinks and a moment later nearly runs into Jester.

She giggles at him and gestures to the unremarkable ground. 

“Does this look like a good place to camp for the night?” 

Caleb can’t see what she’s talking about so he just nods. And that is a mistake. Vertigo slams into him and he has to grab at Jester’s arm to keep himself upright. She grabs a hold of him too which is good because he doesn’t have any strength left in his hands to hold on. The rest of him isn’t far behind. He can feel the worry blooming across her face. Knows the questions she’s going to ask. 

“-geht es gut Jester. Mir geht es gut.” She doesn’t let him go and instead leads him to the ground so both of them are sitting on the floor of the tunnel. 

“If that was you saying you’re alright I don’t believe you.” She pulls at his coat and shirt looking for injuries. “You didn’t get hurt did you? I don’t see anything. Hey Caduceus! Do you have any healing left?”

He wants to say he isn’t hurt. That he’ll be fine. But the common words for that had deserted him miles ago and he can’t seem to find them now. Gray and pink crowds in on blue. And Caleb squints at them and makes out the concern on their faces. Caduceus’ large hand on his shoulder and healing magic slithers over him in a strange way. It rubs against his bones in a grating way and chafes against his own magic. The aches don’t lessen. His vision doesn’t clear. He smiles at them and scrambles for words. 

“Danke. I am just tired I think.” Caduceus continues to stare but Jester manages a smile. 

“Well then! Let’s get some dinner and then we can all go to bed!”

Caleb doesn’t know if he’s hungry. Everything else is too much. But he nods to keep the smile on her face and sits there while the others busy themselves around him. Usually there is something for him to keep busy with too but he can’t think of it. Nott settles by his side and and they just sit there for awhile. Still against the bustle of camp. Eventually a bowl is pressed into his hands and he has to stare at it for a few moments to remember what to do. He eats mechanically, not tasting the food at all. The rest chat quietly but he just lets the words wash over him. Not able to find the words to join in. Someone, Fjord he thinks, takes the bowl from him.

“I’m on dish duty tonight. Why don’t you and Cad get going on the bubble.”

That sounded like a good idea but standing up seems like an impossible task. Fjord seems to notice and offers a hand.

“Long day huh?” He pulls Caleb to his feet and Caleb can feel yellow eyes narrow with concern. Caleb manages a slow nod and manages to keep upright. Fjord moves on. 

Caleb fumbles through his pockets for the silver thread. He needs to cast alarm first but his hands aren’t listening to him. They’re curled and stiff and filled with pins and needles. He almost drops the wire when he finds it and it take him too long to find the loose end. With unsteady steps he makes his way to the edge of the camp and prepares to cast his spell. 

He manages one length of thread and three arcane words before the little tear he had felt in his chest tears a little more. And a little more. And then he feels something deep inside of him crack and splinters of ice seem to drive their way into his lungs. He can’t breath. Cold spreads out from his chest, more biting than before, sapping what little strength he had. There is ground under his knees and world is tilting as he falls to one side. Static fills his ears and all he can hear is the rabbit fast beating of his heart. He can’t see. The cold filling him slides into a sensation of burning pain.

There are hands on him then. Rolling him onto his back. Feeling his for his heartbeat. He looks up at the roof of the tunnel and sees nothing. A flow of magic blooms from the hands and Caleb chokes on a scream as unfamiliar magic drags across his unprotected soul. He convulses with pain and can’t draw his legs up to his chest because his limbs are made of lead. The magic cuts off and the hand pulls back and Caleb is left alone to drift in the dark and the pain. He stays there for a while. His sense of time lost to the blackness. All of his body is cramping but he had no strength left to deal with it so he just drifts. 

His hearing comes back first. The static does not fade away completely but enough that he can hear voices and what sounds like someone crying. The words slip past him but he turns his head towards it and tries to blink away the graying darkness. His eyelids feel like they are filled with grit but the blinking seems to help. Slowly light and color return, he can’t do anything about the blurriness but he can at least make out the shape of his friends. He clumsily reaches out for the smallest shape, green and right next to him. Small warm hands catches his own.

“Caleb!” Nott’s voice cuts through the fog the pain left behind. “Are you okay? What happened? You just collapsed!”

His words aren’t quite all back yet but he tries.

“-last spell.” He means to tap his heart but only manages to hit himself in the chest. “M-magic.”

“You got hit with a spell? When?”

No. That was wrong. Caleb frowned and didn’t have the energy to shake his head. Luckily Caduceus’ voice sounded from over Caleb’s head and he didn’t have to pull together the words for an explanation. 

“That last spell you used, to turn the giant into the octopus. You didn’t have the magic for it did you?”

“N-nein.”

There was a sharp intake of breath from the firbolg and Jester.

“That was a very stupid thing to do Mr.Caleb.” Caleb had to agree. Every single muscle and joint was alight with an aching burn that clashed horribly with the deadening cold in his bones. 

“What’s wrong with him? Is he going to die or something?” Beau’s voice was gruffer than usual.

“No no. He’ll be okay but everything is just going to suck for a little while. It’s like pulling a muscle but the muscle is your soul.” Jester’s words weren’t technically right but they certainly felt accurate. 

“He overexerted himself and tried to keep going. Which has made things worse I’m afraid.”

They were talking over.

“-couldn’t leave Nott.” He felt absolutely terrible but he would do it again in an instant for Nott.

“No, and we’re all grateful for what you did. But you could have told us what had happened. You should not have tried to cast alarm in your current state.”

But that would leave the party without a layer of protection through the night. This tunnel was dangerous. Today had proved that. Without alarm and without the bubble there. Fjord’s voice cut through Caleb’s spiraling thoughts. 

“You can rely on us you know. You don’t have to push through.”

“Yeah man. You don’t have to do everything on your own.” Beau’s voice again. 

“And you’re not the only one with magic either.” Jester was next to Caduceus. “You just need to let us know what you need.”

Caleb didn’t know what he needed. Everything was getting to be too overwhelming. The pain, the cold, the kind words. His friends were all around him, their bodies pressing in. He wanted to curl away from them into a ball. His body wouldn’t listen so he scrunched his eyes shut and tried to find comfort it that. He wanted to let this pass on it’s own. The feeling of helplessness filled him with a thick panic that he was desperate to hide. 

“Well," Caduceus' voice broke through. "I think we’ll be camping right here tonight. Why don’t you all gather up the gear and I’ll see if I can move some rock.” Caleb could feel everyone hesitate at the firbolgs words. He could help but breathe a shuddering breath of relief when the the circle surrounding him finally broke up leaving only Caduceus and Nott who was still holding his hand. 

“‘-m sorry.” He said to Nott. She had almost died today and now she was looking after him. He couldn’t cast a simple spell. He couldn’t even stand. To his horror tears began to run down his face. He didn’t deserve this. Not the attention. Not the care. A rough piece of gray fabric dabbed at the tears. 

“None of that now,” her voice was soft. “You saved my life today. And you didn’t run. Even if I wanted you too. I’m alright. Jester and Caduceus took care of me. Now you let us take care of you.”

“For us to help though Mr. Caleb we need you to tell us what is wrong.” Caduceus makes it sound like a question and the little hand holding Caleb’s prompts him to answer.

“I am just tired and sore.” He'll be okay with some rest. Both of them wait for him to speak more. “I can’t get warm.” He says in a smaller voice. 

“We can help with that.” It sounds like relief in Caduceus’ voice. “Beau, can you grab us some extra blankets please?”

There’s the sound of footsteps a few moments later and Beau approaches. 

“Here,” there’s the soft whump of fabric. “Anything else?”

From anyone else it might have sounded rude but Beau was hovering close and worried.

“I think Mr. Caleb might feel a little better sitting up.”

“Uh, yeah. Sure, here.”

It was an awkward but gentle shuffle and Caleb found him wrapped in two cloaks, an extra blanket, and propped against the curve of the wall. Nott budged in on one side and stole some blanket. Beau moved to the other side and pressed in close in order to keep him upright. 

The was the sound of shifting rock and a noise of approval from Caduceus.

“Excellent, now I’m going to make some tea. Jester, can I borrow some of your honey? I think Mr. Caleb could do with some sugar.”

“Of course! As long as I can have some too!”

“I think we could all do with something sweet.”

They were talking over him again. But being somewhat upright against the wall did make him feel better. The press of bodies returning and settling down close was more bearable as the rest of the Nein returned with their gear. He was still freezing and everything still ached but it was manageable. He drifted for another while. 

“Here,” Beauregard’s voice was soft by his ear. The smell of tea heavy with honey wafted over him. She guided the mug to his mouth and let him take a few sips. His hands, even if they had not been bundled up in blankets would not have been able to hold the mug without spilling. She pulled the bowl away without needed to ask. 

“I think Nott’s already asleep.” There was a quiet relieved laugh in her voice. Caleb could feel the steady little breath from the goblin pressed into his side. 

“Thank you for saving her today.” A quiet voice was all he could manage.

“No problem. Thanks for making sure we both got away even though you fucked yourself over in the process.”

“No problem.” 

Beauregard held the bowl up and and he took another drink of the overly sweet but wonderfully warm tea. He could feel it melting some of the ice in his bones. His eyes were drifting shut and his head drooping.

“Cad said you should finish the tea.” 

He wrinkled his nose against the pull of sleep and at her voice. But took another drink when offered. They sat there and Caleb slowly made his way through the mug. The rest of the party settled down and offered their goodnights. Caleb didn’t miss the worried looks but they didn’t crowd him again and he was grateful. Fjord and Yasha stayed up to keep first watch. Sitting back to back, facing opposing lengths of the tunnel, talking softly. Jester stayed up awhile drawing by the light of Caduceus’ staff but eventually her snores joined Nott’s. 

When Beau handed the finally empty cup over to Caduceus, Caleb was struggling to stay conscious. He sat boneless against Beau. Not entirely free of pain but warmer than he had been in hours. 

“Do you want to stay where you are Mr. Caleb or did you want to lay down?”

The words were like molasses getting to his mouth. 

“-here. Don’t want to wake Nott.”

That got a chuckle from the firbolg and a good hearted groan from the monk.

“Ugh, guess I’m a pillow for the night. Here, gimme some of that blanket.”

Caleb let her pull some of the blanket over as she settled in. His eyes slid shut and he was asleep before she could say goodnight.

 

Morning would find him with a kink in his neck from sleeping at a funny angle and with an exhaustion that would take a few days for him to fully shake off. He’d wake to concerned looks and an extra ration of breakfast he didn’t ask for. He’d wake up warm with two friends alive and well tucked up against his side. Caduceus would make him another cup of too sweet tea that he’d share with Jester. Beau would punch him in the arm and tell him he looked like shit but she’d steady him when he wavered trying to stand. Nott would spend the day right by his side. Chattering away and letting him not answer. Yasha would take up his pack without asking and carry it all day like it was nothing. Fjord would glance over his shoulder every so often and call for more breaks than usual. They’d all hover a little too close and Caleb wouldn’t have the heart to tell them it wasn’t necessary. He would be okay. They had seen to that. 

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from the song [Luna](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VSeLIAkUZCo) by the Mountain Goats


End file.
